"Listen to me now... I need to let you know"

Where am I?

I grow sleepier each day.

In need of brighter mornings,

A new character to unfold,

Better restaurants to have lunch in,

A different experience to write about…

A city that caters to lonesome travellers in search of Life’s hidden treasures…

I grow sleepier each day.

There is no she.

Only him…

…him,

and a lotta “hims”

I’m getting tired of these walking cocks.

I find it rather difficult to be living this life in secret.

--wrote this before going to school.

I’m sleeping over at a friend’s house right now. Just came from football practice. I don’t know what it is about the sport but for some reason, it always helps. I feel tired but yeaaah… Alive. I love my teammates! Funny, how I’ve gotten hooked to these damn cigarettes. I used to be extremely crazy over my health but as the days, weeks go by, I’m beginning to care less.

I better start working out again. The beach trip with my friends is soon approaching…stress reliever! Damn am I sooooo ready to hit the waves!

*Update between me and my so-called “ex-best friend” WE’RE still in shaky terms… or more like in a “we’re-okay-but-we’re not” situation. She’s starting to annoy me. I don’t wanna get to the point where I get hella pissed and leave. I’m such a pro at running away from people who make me feel uncomfortable. It’s unfair, I know. But that’s the thing. I really don’t know my worth. Or maybe I just don’t wanna feel rejected, that’s all.

You know what I think?

I think it’s over. I think she’s gotten to the point where she just can’t take it anymore—she’s probably sick and tired of fighting over the same damn things. I know I am.

*a text message from her*

…Trust? I’ve lost it?

How so?

She hurts me and yet I’m still here…

I guess the past means so much that I can’t bare to leave her in memories.

So she says she’ll come around soon…

Not now…

But soon…

So much later…

What else is new?

I should get used to it by now.

I’m travelling to H.K so that’s something to look forward to. I haven’t been to that much Asian countries. Singapore—which was soooooooo crazy beautiful and clean! Thailand where I went shopping for really cheap football jerseys and… uhhhhh Malaysia which was okaaaay-ish? We didn’t really tour so i guess i missed on a lot..

*think… think…*

uhhhh…

I’ve been “lookin” around but so far, the only people that are ‘interested’ are those that I’m not interested in…so that’s just that. And those that I’m interested in are always those that are either freakin’ straight or those that are already in their own relationships.

Life is unfair.

I ain’t gonna bother to justify this.