Think--

Think.
Think.
Come on now-- Think!
I gotta think straight.
Gotta make this work.
'and being caught in between all you wish for and all you need'
I don't know where to turn any longer.
A plastered smile on my face.
I've mastered it.
I've gotten used to it--
It doesn't hurt to pretend any longer
It is my mask.
My protection.

I have never loved this much.

Where is she...?
My love?
Where has she gone off to?
Have you seen my love?

I think I pushed her away...
I think...
I think...

I shouldn't think.

A rush of pain--
Numb yourself
Come on.
I've done this countless times before.

Don't hurt...
Don't breathe..
Just don't--

Feelings that won't ever die--
Just you...
Just me.
Just us...

I miss you-- :,(
so so much

Just because i'm such a kid... :)

*this is the monsterism collection :) check out the blue horse lookin' thing!*

*looks familiar?? my first designer toy*

*tokidoki collection*

i don't know why but these toys make me real happy-- it's probably the love for design and art :)



if you wanna know more about these toys, check these links out :)
http://www.monsterism.net/links.html
http://www.kidrobot.com/

Back to you...

how do i find my way back to you?
back to how it all was?
how do i take away the pain and make it better?
how can i make it better for you?

i never meant to hurt you this much
break my promises...
i never...

forgive me?
forgive me...

i will always find my way back to you--

i love you my babyy...

Will you remember?

i don't understand--
fear?
i'm scared--
i'm scared of making it without you
i wanna pull you back...
i wanna hold you
hold you so close and never let you go

but the future...
it scares...
it scares me
so so much

i don't want you to go
but i have to go
how selfish can i get?
how can put a stop to this?
set you free
set you free so you can live a better life.

what is this pain?

i'm restless...
i'm weak.
i'm nothing without you--

what the fuck is wrong with me...?

god, i need you--

*A world without a purpose

it's not that i don't know...
not that i never felt it...
please know...
please know......
please just know......
follow your instincts...
the connection that has always existed
will never cease
will never ever cease to exist...

so as my love for you...
my love for you...
all my---

it hurts...
i don't want to...
but i have to....
i really have to--

it hurts so so much...

i woke up so early today...
earlier than usual--
and i craved so much to be beside you--
i wanted to hold you hand,
kiss you...
touch you...
i love everything about you--
but reality...
sweet sweet reality...

something had already been done...
something that had already ripped your heart...
you and me apart--

why do bad things happen to good people?
you are the good one...
the perfect one...
you are the one....

forgive me...
please forgive me for hurting you this way...
please please please.... my....
my--
it hurts so much not to be able to call you mine...

don't forget...
please don't forget...
please please don't ever forget
never forget...
because i won't...
i won't ever--

never again.
not with anyone.
it's you--
it'll always be you---

how can i get through this?
walk without you?
how can i not love you
when it lives so so so deep within me...
you know within your heart
search down within your heart
and you will find the answer
it's not easy
it's not easy to go----
it's never gonna be easy to walk away
it's never gonna be easy
never...

i'm sorry...

this is for us---

i will find a way.......
i will always find a way....
and if the time comes that you still might love me...

...
...
...

thank you....so so much.

keep my heart--
keep it...
it's yours...
it has always been yours....