Find me

I forced myself to 'love' Carson, the football jock just to get over Alex and now i'm back in same old chapter one. Rosario says that it isn't real. (My 'feelings' for Sushi, that is--) That she isn't even my type and that what I felt for Alex was far more convincing. Maybe. Maybe it isn't as 'powerful'-- maybe I just feel a sense of security around Sushi. It might not be love, but there's really something about the way she makes me feel.

Alex...
The kind of classic beauty

Sushi...
The Asian beauty

But am I really drawn to the outer? I used to tell Rosario that all my friends were picked based on good-looks. I am a fucker, ain't I? *Nod with me*
However, I've grown.
I've grown...seriously, I have

For instance,
My best friend...
Guess the preeeeeeetty best friend's got a lot of issues once looked beyond her gorgeous features. *tsk, tsk*

Sushi's been on my mind a lot-- and yeah, Alex crawls back in from time to time. Whatever happens, i'll always love her... i'll always care. There are people in your life that JUST stay.
Forget that she hurt you and broke your heart, forget that she almost ruined you completely, forget that she chose another, forget, forget. What matters most is what she brought you--

...She brought back my ability to surrender to somethin'.

Being one of my closest friends we do what normal friends do... we watch movies together with her girlrfriend ...yeaaah, play sports, sit and have these 'deep' conversations about life, but I guess, reality just hits you when you really... and i mean REALLY submerge yourself in it--

I just might never have her.

and so I get up and face the music, and smile at her like a happy fool who wants nothing more but friendship.

*As for school, I don't wanna think about it. Semestral break is soon approaching. All I want to do is hit the beach and go smoke up with a couple of friends who'd be willin' to just chill out with me. I don't know if Sushi's up for it. I think she's leaving for Japan. More time to bond with Rosario and Dakota. I haven't been 'out' with the two of them since last summer-- I mean, we are together almost everyday, but we haven't exactly sat and 'talked-talked'--lunchtime isn't really considered bonding time, right?

On another note,
*I loooove Rachael Yamagata :)
Check her out... She's hot :)

Worn Me Down

Gone, she's gone How do you feel about it That's what I thought You're real torn up about it And I wish you the best But I could do without it And I will, because you've worn me down Oh, I will, because you've worn me down Worn me down like a road I did everything you told Worn me down to my knees I did everything to please But you can't stop thinking about her No, you can't stop thinking about her And you're wrong, you're wrong I'm not overreacting Something is off Why don't we ever believe ourselves And I, oh, I feel that word for you And I will, because you've worn me down Oh, I will because you have worn me down Worn me down like a road I did everything you told Worn me down to my knees I did everything to please But you can't stop thinking about her No, you can't stop thinking about her She's so pretty; she's so damn right But I'm so tired of thinking About her tonight Worn me down like a road I did everything you told Worn me down to my knees I did everything to please But you can't stop thinking about her No, you can't stop thinking about her Worn me down like a road I did everything you told Worn me down to my knees I did everything to please Worn me down like a road I did everything you told to me to do But you, you can't stop thinking about her No, you can't stop thinking about her No, you can't stop thinking about her No, you can't stop thinking about her

*