My Christmas Prayer

Pray.

People find themselves this Christmas…

Like any other Christmas,

Praying…

Praying to be found

Praying to be won

Praying for acceptance

Praying to be kept safe

Praying for happiness

Praying to be comforted

Praying to be loved

…Praying

Praying to find some sort of peace within themselves…

…Praying—

And I’ve seen myself praying…

In my sleep I pray

In daylight,

As I speak, walk…

The prayer in my head goes on and on…

Waiting to be heard—

Waiting in line to be granted…

The prayer in my mind

Has been my prayer since birth…

To find peace

To be loved

To be comforted

To find happiness

To be kept safe

To be accepted

To be won

And to be found

Pray.

The prayer deep within…

The prayer…

The prayer that I want Him to hear if He does has the ears to listen…

If He does have the heart to grant…

How can something so right be so wrong…?

I hope He understands,

I hope He knows it’s what I feel is right—

My Faith tested.

And yet, prayer is the only thing that keeps me grounded.

So pray.

Pray this Christmas…

Pray.

It might be the only thing you have left to say—

…even to the air

And so I pray this Christmas,

That next Christmas

I might have the prayer

My prayer and even yours…

Answered

*a billion people on this earth, and I bump into you--

"Second star to the right, and straight on til morning..."
ya know alavyah Tink.. :)


*

To build...

How do you build a house for someone you love…?

How do you imagine it to look like, feel like… smell like… taste like--?

Interior to exterior…

Moving in and out—

A mind game…

A puzzle…

How would you want her to feel when she first sets her eyes on it?

How would you want her to feel when she first enters it,

when she first moves into it,

when she walks out of it,

and when she begins to create her personal spaces inside it?

How would you…?

Imagine her walking in.

Smiling…

Taking it all in…

Breathing into it---

Developing a secret bond with the structure …

How I’d love to build a house for her…

A house she’d love.

A house I’d love for her to live in.

A house we could one day both live in.

A home…

She, my home…

And my home…hers

...
How do you build a house for someone you love?

...you wait until She comes.

Inhale-Exhale

no one knows what they've got until its gone.
at least now I know what I've got.
I have it here with me and I'm definitely keeping it safe in a box.

my heart.
I'll keep it safe in a box.
safe where it chooses not to be hurt.
safe.
plain safe.
doesn't have to be 'fancy-safe'.
just safe.
'everyday' safe...

spending the morning with her was nice...
this is what we call 'safe'...
it made me realize I could make her happy even without a title.
plain safe...
finally accepting her as a friend...
'everyday' safe...

Inhale... Exhale...

friends, right?

....

okay... i'll be your friend.


*

Sometimes, the world isn't yours to keep...

i heard her crying across the street a few hours ago--
more like wailing...
the kind of pain you don't hear everyday...
it's the sort of pain you never want to experience.

...being blind
how long has she been blind?
crying her eyes out... how ironic.
wailing, screaming...
not being able to express the feelings trapped inside her miserable soul.

i pity the sound she cries out to the world around her.
it reaches my world and somehow i forget about being happy
and think of her own dying happiness...

sometimes, the world no matter how much you want it
is not ours to keep--
there are others who suffer
there are others we must never forget.

and so tonight, before i lay myself to sleep,
a li'l prayer for this special girl across the street--
that through her blindness she may find some sort of light...